Jerry Springer

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Weird Al Yankovic

Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic (born October 23, 1959) is an American singer-songwriter, music producer, accordionist, actor, comedian, writer, satirist, and parodist. Yankovic is known for his humorous songs that make light of popular culture and that often parody specific songs by contemporary musical acts. Since his first-aired comedy song in 1976, he has sold more than 12 million albums (as of 2007), recorded more than 150 parody and original songs, and has performed more than 1,000 live shows. His works have earned him three Grammy Awards among nine nominations, four gold records, and six platinum records in the United States. Yankovic's first top ten Billboard album (Straight Outta Lynwood) and single ("White & Nerdy") were both released in 2006… more »

Year:

1999

2:46

417 Views

Playlists:

#2

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It's been one week since we got to see 
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry 
Five days since they had the show 
With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho 
Three days since we heard the tale 
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male 
Yesterday it occurred to me 
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer 

Holy cow, d'you see it last week? 
Well, they had this one freak 
Who sucker-punched his whole family 
Do you recall when the brawl 
Became a total free-for-all? 
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee 
Hey, see the stripper with the implants? 
She likes to lap dance 
And date the boyfriend of her mother 
Now here comes Jerry's next guest 
And it's a slugfest 
Cause it's her trailer trash brother 
Nymphomaniac is back on crack 
It's like "When Animals Attack" 
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior 
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes 
Step on their toes, that's how it goes 
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver 

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blame 
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame 
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange 
When he found out that his wife had a sex change 
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly 
They have a history of ripping off their shirts 

It's been one week since they had the fight 
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite 
Five days since that awful brawl 
They still haven't got the blood off the wall 
It's been three days since the bitter feud 
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude 
Yesterday, finally dawned on me 
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer 

Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister. 
Oh, which one? 
All of 'em. 
Ah, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake. 
Yeah? W-Well, me too! And, I've been sleepin' with your dog Woofie! 
Woofie, you bitch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat! 
That goat doesn't love you! 

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin' 
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin' 
Jerry's the king of confrontation 
He's a sensation 
He puts the 'sin' in syndication 
It's totally worthless, like a bad check 
It's like a train wreck 
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away 
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows 
But with more weirdos 
The ratings jumpin' higher every day 
If you've seen the show, well then you know 
It's just as low as you can go 
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene 
And pretty soon some ugly goon 
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM 
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen 

Well, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities 
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies 
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant 
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't 
I have a tendency to watch it religiously 
I have a history of taping each one 

It's been one week since the show about 
Psycho killers with problems they should work out 
Five days since the big surprise 
When some loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guys 
Three days since he interviewed 
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude 
Yesterday, it occurred to me 
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer 
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer 
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer 
Come over here and pull on my finger

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