I'm Sorry

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King Missile

King Missile is an American avant-garde band that has been led in various disparate incarnations by poet/singer John S. Hall since 1986. more »

Year:

1992

3:03

123 Views

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No, I never was in Vietnam
I never once dove into an empty
  swimming pool
I never let the carpet walk right out
  from under me
I never painted a house or a tree
I never did become an exotic dancer, or a
  customer service representative
I never took the pulse of a dying duck,
  or gave mouth to mouth
  resuscitation to a horse fly
In a way, I suppose you could say
  my experience is quite limited
For example, I never locked Oliver
  Cromwell in a broom closet while
  singing Waltzing Matilda
I never sawed television in half,
  although I once saw Wendy O.
  Williams saw a guitar
I never played a decent game of jacks
I never played poker with a toothless one
  eyed pirate who kept
  picking his teeth with a bowie knife to
  distract me, while his parrot looked
  over my shoulder and told him what
  cards I had by using an elaborate code
  involving vomiting, chirping,
  and sea chanteys
I never bought a lamp-wait; I did buy a
  lamp once
But I never bought a lantern, or a
  lambskin prophylactic
I never bought a loin or a
  Loinel Ritchie album
I never bought anthing beginning with
  the letter "L" except lollipops, light
  bulbs and lettuce and the lamp
I never laid down for a nap and found the
  Everly Brothers in bed with me
I never let a cyborg take out the garbage
 
I'm sorry
I stole the radio
I did it
I sawed the legs off the periodic table
I re-elected the president
I did it, it was my fault
I farted in the church
I'm sorry
 
I did many many bad things and I am so
  
sorry!

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