Amish Paradise

Weird Al YankovicBuy this song

Weird Al Yankovic

Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic (born October 23, 1959) is an American singer-songwriter, music producer, accordionist, actor, comedian, writer, satirist, and parodist. Yankovic is known for his humorous songs that make light of popular culture and that often parody specific songs by contemporar… more »

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise
We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish Paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish Paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie 
We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish Paradise
But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish Paradise



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Amish Paradise