Lost in your words

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Evan Hill

Evan Hill (January 20, 1919 – April 10, 2010) was an American journalist and professor at the University of Connecticut (UConn), where he chaired the journalism department from 1965 to 1984. A stern but beloved teacher, Hill exerted major influence on Connecticut journalism. He mentored many editors and reporters in the region and served as a director and trustee of The Day. He authored eight books and 160 magazine articles. more »

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You had me lost in your words
Now I'm just trapped in the dirt
Feel like I should've left first
Maybe then I wouldn't hurt

I ain't been to sleep in like three days
My mind seem to only be clear when I'm on the freeway
Lookin out the window starin at all the mountains I pass by
Thinkin bout how big would the trees seem if the grass wasn't that high
Sounds stupid thinkin bout it but come to think of it
It's just a distraction from all the other things going on in my life
The other day I thought about asking my sister if I could smoke weed with her for my first time
'Cause maybe my brain would calm down and I would be able to sleep if I just got high
Maybe it would cleanse this depression that feels endless in my mind
I just feel like I'm not gonna be able to rely on these rhymes for the rest of my life
Yeah rhymes are like therapy to me but the last time I got writers block my girlfriend left me
Right after that I met a girl who I got along with very well on online school
Couple months later I fly up to Oregon and figured it would be good if I met her and thought she was cool
She insisted on me meetin her family but I really didn't wanna see them
'Cause after that, everything I said was just pretend
She said she loved me and I had trouble saying it back
I was confused at first but I think I know why now
'Cause back home I was messin wit another chick that she ain't even know about

You had me lost in your words
Now I'm just trapped in the dirt
Feel like I should've left first
Maybe then I wouldn't hurt

You had me lost in your words
Now I'm just trapped in the dirt
Feel like I should've left first
Maybe then I wouldn't hurt

Every time my phone lights up I think it's you textin me
Even if I ain't in the mood to talk, I still check to see
Every time it ain't you it definitely affects me negatively
Sometimes I swear I do anything for you, then you walk away treacherously
Maybe if you stop neglecting me, and act respectfully
I wouldn't have to write this verse
Can't say I ain't a hypocrite
'Cause I still give you a high five then write unrighteous words
But I swear there's a difference cause when I dream, I dream of you
And nights disperse
I can't sleep so I think like I'm a piece of dirt
You can step all over me but I'll make sure your feet don't hurt
I get it I need to work on clenching this infeasible thirst
Never once said we wouldn't work
But my tears seepin through my pillow sheets
All my problems caught up and are killing me
Tie a rope around my neck, jump and feel a squeeze
Eyes wide, body's cold, hope I don't breathe

You had me lost in your words
Now I'm just trapped in the dirt
Feel like I should've left first
Maybe then I wouldn't hurt

You had me lost in your words
Now I'm just trapped in the dirt
Feel like I should've left first
Maybe then I wouldn't hurt

Holding onto a lie is kinda like holding onto a grenade
That'll explode at any minute and destroy everything you made
I lay in bed depressed and sick
Alone in my own thoughts
Thinking how am I supposed to end this itch,
Without it carrying on

Holding onto a lie is kinda like holding onto a grenade
That'll explode at any minute and destroy everything you made
I lay in bed depressed and sick
Alone in my own thoughts
Thinking how am I supposed to end this itch,
Without it carrying on

How does anyone expect me to sleep at night
When I write to live because my minds a burden
My eyes are blurrin but my highs regurgitatin
I remember the first time I called you beautiful
You said I was delusional
But if that's the case then the delusiveness is mutual
It feels like I keep moving and moving and it's insane
I can't stay in one place it honestly reminds me of my brain
One minute I hate you, then the next I don't wanna look away from your face
Sometimes I wanna run away but then it would feel like I'm leaving again
I can't tell you how hard it was to try to be happy to leave all my friends
I was so lonely for so long, then I made new ones and now I'm leaving them
God the only thing I want right now is to be with them
I mean thank god I made it long enough to meet them
'Cause life was getting kinda rocky and I had a habit of sleepin
Life's been really tough for me recently
And I think this depression finally showing
I forget to until my mother reminds me I need to eat
Either I sleep too much or I don't sleep at all
My dreams have been filled with things I wanna forget
Days drag on and I spend most of them staring at a wall
Thinking of things I said and regret, wishin I could just end it all

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