My dog's stomach was very upset
So I put him in the car
And we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet
I killed a cat
Isn’t that ironic…

I adopted a child from overseas
To rescue him from child labor factories
And on his very first birthday
We went to Build-A-Bear Workshop

Isn’t that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
A water park has burnt to the ground
And a tow truck has broken down
I always used to cry when I laughed
And then I was raped by a clown
Isn’t that ironic…

I was watching Al Gore
on CNN he was talking and
talking and talking and then
out of boredem my pet
polar bear shot himself
Isn't that Ironic...

I dated an animal right’s activist
And one day she got really pissed
Because I was eating veil
That was rapped in PETA bread

I’m a stand-up comic
And I always sit and slouch
And I got my girlfriend pregnant
On my sterile uncle’s, pull-out couch

I said
Isn’t that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
Ancient Greece was the place
Where the smartest dudes were at
Now the only place you see Greek letters
Is at a fucking frat
Isn’t that ironic…

Everyday you play the board game
Risk when you've probably
never taken a risk in your life
and Monopoly is far from the stranglehold
on the borad game market
A little boy died from suffication
when he choked on a game peice
from operation
And i cant grow a beard that ones
not ironic that ones just sad

And Bob Barker got all of
my pet's pregnant

My grandfather had alzheimer's
And one day we were… oh shit…
Lyrics submitted by Devon.