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rubberbandits

I Like to Shift Girls
by Rubberbandits



Why you at the clinic kid?
Same thing as you.
I've got infections on my mickey that have spread to my pubes.
Did the doctor give you penicillin, condoms and lubes?
No he gave me a lecture and a strict set of rules.

He said, getting your hole is really taking its toll.
Cause you've been riding all your groupies and spending all your dole.
Your sexual health is getting out of control.
So follow my directions for the sake of your soul.

You only shift girls,
To save all your money.
You only shift girls.
You can't have no fanny.
You only shift girls.
To save all your money.
You only shift girls.
On the mouth.

[Wait, wait, wait. So the doctor told you that you're only allowed to shift girls and nothing else?
No nothing else.
Best of luck with that.]

Time went by and the hours turned into days.
I wasn't riding girls but I was taking them on dates.
I couldn't think of sex so I was filling up the space.
With deep conversations and staying up late.
And when the time came that she would ask me for some more.
I'd shift her on the lips and then kick her out the door

But celibacy, as hard as it can be.
Has got advantages and bonuses.
As I've come to see,
By not having sex.
I did not expect.
That girls will cook you dinner.
When you show them respect.

And now I shift girls.
And spend all their money.
I like to shift girls.
I don't want no fanny.
I like to shift girls.
And spend all their money.
I like to shift girls.
On the mouth.

I never thought my life would be as happy as this.
If I need something done I use the power of the shift.
This girl is washing my car.
That one is sweeping my rug.
Cause I refused them both a ride and they confuse it with love.

I like to shift girls.

While they're ironing my jocks.
Or fixing holes in my socks.
And when I have chicken pox.

I like to shift girls.

While I'm checking my mails
And when I'm hammering nails.
Or pelting houses with snails

I like to shift girls.

While I'm fishing for porch.
And when I'm dressed as a nurse.
That's robbing shit from her purse.

I like to shift girls.

While I'm filling a bath.
During a panic attack.
Then making tea for a Jap.

I like to shift girls.

Reading Friedrich Nietzsche.
And drawing pictures of priests.
Then tearing leaves from a tree.

I like to shift girls.

When my Fanta's too fizzy.
And spinning round 'til I'm dizzy.
Soaking a tampon in whiskey.

I like to shift girls.

Wondering if there's a God.
And checking underneath logs.
Trying to measure a dog.

I like to shift girls.

Pointing at Pakistan.
Don't give a fuck who they am.
I even shifted a man.

And if there's no one around.
And I can't find a girl.
I dig a hole in the ground and start shifting the world.
Because I shift girls.

[What are you doing?
Do you mind? I am on a date with mother earth!
You're shifting your mother? Pervert!]
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Lyrics submitted by Ryan Gallen.
These lyrics are not available for printing.